What is so special about Birthday? NOTHING

This morning I made sure to get my FREE DRINK at Starbucks! That was kind of special.

On a serious note:

I feel so blessed to be surrounded by amazing friends and families in my life. On days like this (birthday); I am always reminded of God's faithfulness on a deeper level - not that it doesn’t happen on other days but for some weird reason there is more self-awareness on such days. The frequent birthday wishes from friends and families remind me of how fast time flies. All of this just feels like it happened yesterday, but it’s already been an entire year. How the heck did time fly by so fast?  Almost every time I have one of these moments, I see myself sinking into a hole of "dang it!! I did not do enough, and another year is gone again" meaning in despair. Most of the time it is because I’m always looking towards the future, and instead of taking it a piece at a time, I try to chew the whole chunk. What I learn and have been learning is to live one day at a time.

In James 1:14 it says, "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone."

This past year I have seen my friends losing their loved ones, some finding their loved ones, others rising to success, while some may be falling off the peaks of their careers. The whole world is full of this cycle of ups and down. Looking at all of this; life surely is like the morning fog, it's here a little and –SNAP- it's gone.


WARNING: Most random blog ever

The reason I am writing this blog on my birthday is that I have been through some of the hardest seasons in my life in the past year. I had physical problems, financial problems, emotional problems, and I have yelled out, “LIFE SUCKS!!!”

But at the end of the day, AT THE END of the day there was a peace in my heart that never left me.  I did not understand how that was possible - then it made sense because I had the peace of God. Jesus is The Prince of Peace and he has been guarding my heart in all the hardships. The Bible says in Philippians 4:7, "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I did not understand why I was filled with overwhelming peace and contentment in the hardest days of my life, but it became more real to me about how God stays true to his promises.

I did not understand how I could smile while simultaneously crying, and yet that is when I realized that the Joy of the Lord is not all glitter and gold - but to me Joy of the Lord is when in the hardest of the times, you take a deep breath and say, "Thank you, Lord, break my heart again if this is what gives you the most glory because I am loving the pain."


Ok Now back to birthday post:

I never really understood what's so special about birthdays because I grew up in a time and place where we didn't celebrate them. Birthdays, according to my father was a foreign tradition. There is truth to his words because he did not grow up with celebrating birthdays, and neither did the whole community that I grew up with.

When I was 8 years old I moved to the city, and that is when I found out about birthdays and how everyone in the city celebrated them. Birthdays were always lonely times because when other kids talked about their birthdays they would share candy's in the whole classroom, and I would sit and think about how life could be better for me as well if I had the privilege to grow up with my parents, or if my parents could have afforded to live in the city, etc.

As I grew older and life started to take different shapes and form, I was introduced to celebrating birthdays. I never really liked it because again it just reminded me of what I didn't have and how it could have been better.

All of these were lies that I believed to be true for a better life. A better life is when you know that the Lord is on your side and you actually love the Lord; in fact, it's the best life. What it is for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?

I am constantly learning about the Grace of God and I will never stop learning. I would say when Grace sang true to my soul about 5 years back, life has been so different. I have learned that to be loved and be in Love with Christ is not always nice and sleek - it is gritty and takes a little bit of friction in life. For me, I have felt the overwhelming joy and grace during the worst of my emotional breakdowns. When I pushed too hard on getting something done and decided to give up, the Lord did not fail to come through. He has used my friends and families, jobs and school, to teach me that in life, true joy is only found in Christ. Everything plays a role but again without Christ, all of these fail.

That being said, I have decided to begin living one a day at a time, making every day special because at the end of the day, despite the hardship of it, I want to be able to take a deep breath and say “Thank you God, it was a great day."

Now you see why birthdays are not so special? because every day is special. Every day should be lived as if it is the only day left to live.